wilkes

New Guidelines have been released that reflect the increasing scarcity of paper supplies for personal hygiene.

Blow your nose and wipe your face as before.

Wipe your hiney using a maximum of three squares of toilet tissue.
(Consider recycling your used tissues by washing them by hand in a local creek. The tissues will tend to disintegrate, but can be reconstructed by placing the newly washed paper shreds into a colander and left to dry in the sun.)

Ladies are requested to dab their damp lower front with a glove or oven mitt.
Biological males should shake twice as usual.

The goberment thanks you for your compliance.

Now Wendy is wondering why folks are walking past him and dabbing his face...

Sparky, we all know that you haunch around on the floor like a dog.

Lmbo , hahaha. Yes the left needs to share not just the right so they are not deprived of all their needs. Lol

Wipe your face and nose on your sleeve.
Wash said sleeve once weekly.

Wipe your arse once at each occasion using no more than five squares of toilet tissue.

Ladies, use no more than one square of toilet tissue when dabbing the "front".